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How to have a strong personality (and become more attractive)
How to have a strong personality (and become more attractive)
"He or another, it was a bit like that ... I felt that the guy had no personality. That's to say, I'm a feminist, but sometimes I need a guy to reframe me. There he was too soft knee ... "
So begins our beautiful story about the strong personality. When we read memoirs of famous men, tyrants entrepreneurs, warlords, politicians, athletes or singers, it comes back like a refrain: "he had from an early age a high opinion of himself and a strong personality" . And success with women who goes with ...
In this article, we will discuss together the key points to develop this charisma, to have an interesting personality.
In writing the lines above, I remember an apartment visit when leaving, my girlfriend told me "spacious, bright, but no personality this apartment! Concretely, he did not stand out, he did not stand out from the rest of the market, but she was looking for the exceptional, the unique!
With the guys, it's kind of the same. The common man who will say "yes and amen" to everything, she does not care. Let's start from the beginning and try to define what it means to have a strong personality.
The definition: what is it to have a strong personality?
One can proceed by contrast ... The mentally weak guy, who is he? It is the snake, the fox, it is the sneaky but cunning animal that really adapts to his interlocutor to seduce him. He is a flatterer who has no scruples and who, as AKH would say, "has no face".
The English often use "two-faced" as an adjective to say hypocrite (like Janus, the double-faced god, 006 in James Bond ...) Typically the starving man who in front of a girl a little round will declare to love the forms and in front of a twig declare that he likes girls who take care of them.
Adaptable, flexible, but a ball of wind, empty, the complete flute of Christian Morin ... He would be ready to say anything to obtain the validation of the girl he covets.
The guy who has no personality will agree with everything the girl tells him in front of him, will laugh at jokes and comments rotten: he does not dare to give his real opinion for fear of displeasing, to lose points.
But girls are much more attracted to those who dare to have their opinion on the question ...
Q. Why do you have to have a strong personality?
I may have forgotten a slight downside: some girls will choose to have a docile guy and easy to control. Less intensity, less disagreement, it will have less flavor but at least it is predictable.
In fact, "girls" as a whole are more attracted to guys who know what they want. Who know where they are going. They know they can trust them because they have a strong quality: independence of mind.
They think for themselves and set their goals. And most importantly, they are not afraid to take their point of view, even displeased. A true attitude of "I fight the balls of what you think of me".
This is one of the most interesting points to develop in my opinion: the art of disagreement. Among the closest people I know, there are points on which we are fundamentally opposed to Eros, or a former co-worker.
And yet, we respect each other because we do not change our minds or our way of seeing things. Each in our own way follow our paths with passion and commitment.
An example, it will speak better. On the use of money. Eros works like a madman and sets aside a lot. My former colleague buys apartments. Me, I slap while traveling and restaurant.
So we often clashe in the evening, on the use of this money. And yet we all admire each other because our system of thought is strong, the foundations are solid, and our actions are consistent with our thoughts.
Both really have strong personalities, and make no concessions to please girls. "My way or the highway! "
It is this state of mind: "it's like that, whether you like it or not", which will please girls. It's poker: risk everything. It goes or it breaks. Some girls will hate this arrogant and inflexible side, others will be attracted by the principles and values that you defend.
But what appeals most is the side "guy ready to defend his beliefs, he is not afraid to lose me for his ideas, he is not afraid to lose points if I'm not of agree with him. He is solid and straight in his boots, I can trust him. "
The advantage when you have a strong personality? Girls are attracted who also have their worlds, their ideas, their principles, and do not behave like weather vanes.
Q.How to become the guy with a strong personality?
Develop a strong personality
Nnality does not mean to be stubborn, limited, or tactless. "An iron hand in a velvet glove": to be firm must not prevent you from putting the forms.
Learning to assert yourself, it goes through a development of your ideas, your own thinking. Nothing worse than a seducer who only repeats what he reads elsewhere, or what he hears on TV sets.
And to be able to have one's own opinions, one has to cultivate oneself ... curiosity, again and again. When you hear a bell, go see the other side, find out, what do others think?
Attention, all your interactions with girls and others should not turn to the debate, it has no interest. I do not ask you to play the contradictor constantly to develop your ideas.
I will give you a test. And this is the most important test to do to develop a strong personality. Whenever you're about to say something or do something in the presence of a girl, ask yourself the ultimate question:
"Would I do that if I did not want to fuck her? "
Yes, it's believed, but it's the truth: 80% of your actions are motivated by girls, to please them, to impress them. And if you were trying to impress YOU for once?
I must admit that I see too many apprentice gentlemen who absolutely want to do everything to please girls: it is high time to think a little about you!
I think of a last test to face your wardrobe: if in recent years you have been emo, skater, tektonik killer, hipster, rocker, you probably do not have a personality still very defined. At work !
Take action and develop your personality
Having a strong personality, basically, is already a very bold goal. What if we started simply by developing a personality first? Here are some tracks:
Have your own tastes. Choosing Thai rather than Indian or Chinese is already making a choice and asserting his tastes. You refuse to set foot in the cinema and swear by the theater, that too, it's personal, and it defends itself! Explore to the maximum, get out of your comfort zone to discover what YOU really like.
Have your ideas, have your own thoughts. On the death penalty, on the distribution of wealth, on the importance of reality TV in our societies, on brothels, on medical tourism, on the best record of all time.
Do not be afraid to defend your opinions. Going on vacation, for you, it sucks? Why ? Know how to argue, to go for an adult with defensible positions, and not just the vagaries of the type "holidays in the mountains, it's suck." One insults one of your friends while he is not there, do you let go?
Develop principles of life that dictate your actions (your 10 commandments to you, so to speak)
Do not give in when a girl or a friend tells you that "it's bad" (be careful not to be limited either: stubbornness, it is not to have a strong personality, it is to cut oneself sometimes )
Basically, it is very hard to remain 100% honest. Always be sure of yourself and your personality. Never make any concessions. Life in society requires a minimum of control of social dynamics (and sometimes a hint of hypocrisy).
How far are you willing to go to be accepted and seduced? Where do you set your limit in terms of chameleonism? To have a strong personality, it is especially to know its limits, to know what you are ready to tolerate without denying who you are.
These moral principles that are dear to you, I found an interesting video to illustrate the dilemma. A guy who is looking for a sub-tenant or a roommate talks by Skype with the elected potentials, but imposes a restriction: no blacks!
For a cheap rent, would you be willing to endure the racist comments of an owner? Or would your principles require you to tell this dirty guy to go f ***?
To have a strong personality is to run the risk of disagreeing for principles that are worth it / the cost of being defended.
Have you ever been caught in the act of "weakness", doing things only to please a girl, things that are contrary to your beliefs?
Muhammad Haseeb Khokhar, your relationship mender
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